This is one interesting case that seems to have rocked Nigerian society. A UK based Nigerian Pastor (female) files a lawsuit against her infamous Pastor husband, Chris Oyakhilome based in Nigeria. The couple have two children. There are allegations of cheating, fraudulent management of church funds and the list goes on, as the basis for the divorce.
Indeed the divorce rate continues to increase among Nigerians and other African groups both in the diaspora and on the continent. There is an even higher increase once you focus in on the entertainment industry or showbiz or entertainment personalities in general.
If you are wondering what the grounds for divorce is in Nigeria, click to find out here.
The Allegations according to www.thecable.ng
The wife is seeking divorce on the grounds of “unreasonable behaviour” and “adultery”. She outlined several allegations against the pastor which cannot publish for legal reasons. The divorce case, with Suit No FD14D01650, was filed on April 9, 2014 at Divorce Section A, Central Family Court, First Avenue House, High Holborn, London, UK, on Anita’s behalf by Attwaters Jameson Hill Solicitors, a full-service law firm with expertise in commercial law and a strong consumer focus in family, wills and estate, personal injury law and medical negligence.
Efforts to reconcile the popular couple, whose church is one of the biggest denominations in Nigeria and has branches all over world, have failed. They have two teenage daughters, Sharon and Charlyn.”
Oyakhilome is the president of Believers’ Love World Inc, the registered name of the Christian ministry, while his wife is the vice-president.
The pastor, according to an elder of the church, has denied allegations of adultery and believes his wife is being influenced by “bad friends” who are intent on destroying their home.
While Anita believes she has been relegated in the scheme of things in the church, her husband has reportedly accused her of trying to usurp power and authority above her seniors in the ministry.
Sources told TheCable that the pastor had been making efforts to avoid divorce in the hope that the wife would eventually have a change of mind. However, the decree nissi was served on the charismatic pastor in his hotel room during a recent visit to the UK. Decree nissi, in legal terms, is like a yellow card in a football match which is a precursor to a red card (“decree absolute”) if no new evidence is provided to stall proceedings.
Church insiders said Oyakhilome had been hoping for rapprochement, but he was left with no option than to receive the papers when the lawyers cornered him at his hotel in London. The decree absolute, which will effectively end the marriage, is expected to be issued soon while terms of the divorce will be worked out by the lawyers on both sides.
TheCable learnt Anita recently wanted to go public with the details of her allegations against the husband but reached an informal agreement to sheathe her sword in the interest of the church. Oyakhilome is regarded as one of the richest and most influential pastors in Nigeria, and co-authors the fast-selling Christian daily devotional, Rhapsody of Realities, with the wife.
However, following the strain in the marriage, the wife had been complaining to friends that her husband had stopped the payment of royalties due her from the devotional literature. “She complained of being deliberately starved of funds, perhaps to bring her to her knees in the belief that she would eventually return to her matrimonial home and mend things,” a church member told TheCable in the UK.
A wealthy Zimbabwean businessman, who is into telecoms, is one of the biggest financiers of the London branch of the church which Anita pastors along with other branches in Europe. When the crisis got to a head, the Zimbabwean stopped funding the church ─ some said in solidarity with Oyakhilome, his close friend and neighbour in Johannesburg, South Africa.
However, Oyakhilome was said to have been shocked when the wife announced at a fundraiser that she was sowing a “seed” (donation) of $1 million ─ despite her assumed lack of access to funds.
Matters got to a head on Sunday, July 13, 2014, when some relatives of Anita locked up the London branch of the church to protest against the “humiliation” being meted out to their sister ─ who had not overseen services at the branch since November 2013.
What her Attorneys Allegedly have to say:
“It is with great sadness that our client, Pastor Anita Oyakhilome, has come to the conclusion that her marriage to Pastor Christian Oyakhilome has irretrievably broken down and regrettably there is no hope of any reconciliation. We can confirm that Pastor Anita Oyakhilome has commenced divorce proceedings in London as she resides in the UK.”
Her divorce cited irreconcilable differences bordering on alleged adultery and unreasonable behaviour. The case with suit no. FD14D01650 was filed on 9th April 2014 at Divorce Section A, Central Family Court, First Avenue House, High Holborn in London.
The Pastor’s Response
“I heard that some media houses, especially in Nigeria are writing some things against me. All sorts of frivolous charges, that’s crazy. You have to understand something about a man of God. A man of God is not just someone who worships God or preaches God. A man of God is handpicked by God, set on course by God. If you study the scriptures, you will not find one man of God go against God, sinning against God.
“The only things you might find will be a man of God, maybe in two different kinds of ways. Moses, for example; when he struck the rock twice, [he] was provoked by the anger of the people. [It was] not because he wanted to do something against the Lord. No man of God does something against the Lord.
“Are you hearing me? A man of God is set on a course; there is a type of life that he is given. Then you have a young man, a young prophet; he wasn’t named; he was deceived by another man of God and so he went in a direction that God said ‘don’t go’.
“That is the only kind of thing you find about a man of God when he misses the message of God or he acts beyond what God said. But a man of God settles himself in the fight against the world… like those writing those silly things about me, that I did this and I did that.
“You don’t know who a man of God is. I don’t go in that direction. I wasn’t accused of the things you said, nor did I commit those silly things that you said and I don’t need to go into that level in such discussions.
“Jesus Christ was accused by many – a lot of frivolous charges. There will always be those who would like for it to be true. But you know, in spite of the accusations against Jesus, It didn’t change who he was. It didn’t change him.
“There are preachers and there are men of God. I am not a preacher; I am a man of God and I go in the way I’m asked to go. It may cause some troubles with individuals but that’s not because I have done something wrong and when it comes to Reverend Anita, what I will say to you is ‘pray for her’.
“Don’t act like those people. If you are married to a man of God, it doesn’t make you automatically mature. You can make mistakes; you can do something that is wrong. But some people expect the wife of a minister to definitely be at the level of that minister and so they may be looked upon and the expectation may be like that, but it’s a positional thing.
“If a man of God is married, it doesn’t automatically mean that the wife of a man of God is therefore a woman of God. That’s not the way it is in the Bible.
“That’s why you don’t really find the wives of men of God mentioned in the Bible. How many of them? Who was Peter’s wife, did you ever know her name? You never find that out. Who was John’s wife? Did you ever read the name? What about all the other Apostles? How many of their names are written in the Bible. You never find their names.”
At this point, one of the female pastors sought to know why the names of wives of the men of God were not found in the Bible. Oyakhilome’s response was that she should ask God whenever she finds him.
“Why? You ask God when you find him. Ask God when you find him,” he exclaimed.
“So, they are little things; don’t try to make something big out of them. So when journeying, doing the things that God called us to do, Christians should not have a divorce; it shouldn’t be but you see, that doesn’t mean a Christian may not take the step.
“They may do it but [they] have to make things right and we shouldn’t take one another to court. But when it happens, not that we don’t just want to go, it means someone is taking us there. That’s a problem, but be wise and stay focused in the word of God and don’t let those who want to feast on things like this, including Christians…
“There are Christians who like things like this; they want to make something big out of this: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we said it’. You said what? Judge nothing before the time. Be wise. Glory to God.
“So we are not working in sin and living in sin and hoping that we can mix sin and righteousness together. We are the manifestation of his righteousness. We walk in that light only, and that’s the way it’s gonna be,” he concluded. – NigeriaFilms.com
Open Letter by UK based Journalist Emeka Asinugo Over Anita’s Alleged Decision to File for Divorce
Our dear Anita: I am addressing this letter to you because I know that it is you who will hold the key to triumph over the challenges that have recently raised their ugly heads in your family and in your ministry. I am convinced that even if you don’t read this letter directly from me, some of the numerous members of Christ Embassy across the globe could read it and draw your attention to the words of an old man who is pretty much in the same calling as you and your husband are. I am writing this from my home: The Vicarage, St. Matthew’s Church of England, Stratford, E15 4JX, where my wife, Christy is the Vicar, and the co-ordinating Chaplain of Westfield, Stratford City.
We were all taken aback when we read about your intention to file for a divorce against your husband, Pastor Chris. It was a scandal, Anita, and you must not let it happen.
I need not tell you that in today’s world, many factors tend to get in the way of successful marriages. It is, therefore, practically impossible to recommend a general panacea for all the troubles that can hamper the success of any marriage. But in all our travails, as Christians, we must bear in mind the fact that in a very profound sense, marriage is the most intimate of human relationships, involving sharing a person’s entire life with his or her spouse. By its very nature which emphasizes conjugal love, the institution of marriage is ordained for procreation and for the ultimate education of children who come from such marriages. It calls for self-surrender to the other spouse, a surrender that is so intimate and complete that spouses become “one,” not only in body, but also in soul, without necessarily losing their individual identities.
As the servants of God, you must ask yourselves where the ultimate education of your children comes into this divorce prompting. If this divorce actually takes place, how would your daughters who you are preparing to become future leaders in the church and mothers in the family feel, knowing they come from a broken home? And how do your numerous followers interpret your individual identity with reference to your commitment to family and church?
There is an African adage that says: there is no age when a man can say: ‘I have known it all’. That adage also applies to the institution of marriage. No one can claim to know all there is in that human relationship called marriage. It is a university. Those in it learn by the day from it. And most times, the lessons come in different shapes, culminating in various experiences. As a result, the marital experiences of people actually differ one from another, depending on circumstances and such factors as upbringing, environmental pressure and work demands. In all of these, no one can claim to have a ready answer to all the myriads of problems that couples face daily in their marriage relationships. It is even more complicated these days when people marry for various reasons that can range from legal, social, emotional and economic needs to spiritual stability or upliftment. But no matter the reason a couple gets married in the first place, the demands of marriage remain ultimate and constant. Husband and wife must have a unity of purpose in all their undertakings. In short, they must be seen as, and remain, “an item” in the eyes of their society.
Many of your admirers across the globe want to believe that work pressure, which is pressure from those you work with or think you are working with, is responsible for this undesirable development of you, Anita, filing for a divorce against Chris. The truth they want to believe is that not only has Satan attended service at Christ Embassy, just as he attends services in all churches that are reputed to be doing well, he is waiting to receive Holy Communion! He has penetrated your ministry and is using your work force to direct you. That is the challenge.
Don’t forget that God allowed Satan to sift the quality of those who profess to worship Him. God cannot be mocked. If Satan wins this battle, then God was never in your Ministry in the first place. Your millions of admirers across the globe will be greatly disappointed but they will not make any mistake about the truth.
You sure must know that your admirers, even from other Christian denominations are in their millions. Many of them look up to you as their role model. Think again. Must you let them down? Is this idea of divorcing Chris so binding? Think about it again. Is this not selfishness? Here in England, many homes break up, with their families torn apart. But when you look at the situation closely, you find that selfishness on the part of one of the spouses was the fundamental reason the family broke up. Should that be the testimony of your Ministry? Would you allow material things like money or alleged sexual indulgence destroy your Ministry and make a mockery of all you have invested into it? To remain married, spouses must be ready for a long-term commitment in every conceivable respect, financially, emotionally and in terms of maturity and ageing.
Having said this much, I would like to quickly point out that there are many things about marriages, especially among Christian Families that are often taken for granted. One of them is the sacrosanct promise publicly recited by couples in front of their witnesses, and in front of God. They usually vow to love, cherish and respect each other “until death do us part!” Think about the admonition God gave Adam in the Holy Book. Adam and his wife Eve were the first recorded couple on earth, according to our Christian belief. God created the Garden of Eden for them, with all the glamour and beauty that the scenic environment portrayed, just as He has prospered Christ Embassy. The Holy Book mentions that husband and wife explored the Garden naked. They were not ashamed of their nakedness. They must have been as innocent as a newly born child. That was how God wanted them to be – innocent. God specifically told Adam not to eat of the forbidden fruit in the centre of the Garden of Eden. God told him: “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat; for in the day that you eat of it, you shall surely die.”
The serpent, described in the Holy Book as “more cunning than any beast of the field that the Lord had made” prevailed on Eve and she convinced her husband to disobey God and eat of the forbidden fruit. But Adam lived for many more years before his physical demise. It means that God was not talking about the physical death of Adam. God meant that Adam would die spiritually. Adam’s spiritual death was not interpreted at the time God told him he would die if he ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. No one knew the mind of God when He spoke to Adam about the tree. But God’s decree happened. The spiritual death of Adam and his wife ushered sin and death into the world. For disobeying God, Adam died spiritually and his death distanced him and his wife from God.
By the same token, modern marriages can die spiritually. When husband and wife fail to upkeep their vow to cherish, love and respect each other; when selfishness and the desire to be the one left standing at the end of the day is inadvertently at the centre of their relationship; when the ill-conceived advice of “frienemies” (half friends and half enemies) holds sway in their marriage, that union is doomed to spiritual death. The couple will be separated from each other, just as Adam was separated from God. The couple may still be living together as Adam and Eve continued to live in the Garden of Eden. But in the spirit, they have been disconnected from God who brought them together initially.
Yes. Even the Elders and Pastors of Christ Embassy are not free from all this. They too have a case to answer. No Christian marriage can simply crash without series of warnings. And we make haste to ask: where were the Elders and other Pastors of Christ Embassy when this entire trouble started? Where were they when it continued and when it was allowed to escalate to this world-wide level? Where were they? What did they observe? What was revealed to them, even in their prayers? And what did they do to salvage the ugly incident that was coming on to daint the image of Christ Embassy?
Anita and Chris, you must surely know that the devil is at work in your Ministry. You must not let this happen. Millions of your admirers out there will be very disappointed. Don’t listen to those frienemies of yours who are pretending to advise you genuinely, because they are not. You are beautiful, Anita. Chris is handsome. And I am sure this combination of beauty and brain is what has attracted so many people to you and to your ministry. Call Chris to prayer over this challenge, and withdraw the suit from court. That is what all your admirers feel you should do. Don’t allow money or things of the flesh to come between you and the love of God expressed in you as a great woman of God.
Pastor Benny Hinn had this temptation. The devil set a booby trap for him. His family was tearing apart. But he overcame the gripping power of the Evil One. He triumphed. And today that testimony stands strong in his favour and profile. The world is watching, hoping that you prove who you really have been. Your children are waiting, not to be stigmatised with the label of children who came from a broken home. Christians all over the world are praying that as a great woman of God, God Himself will reveal the future of this divorce road you appear to have followed to you, Anita. And we all believe that you will triumph over this period and live to give testimony of God’s goodness in your life. Paul is advising you in Ephesians 6:10 to be “strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full amour of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggles are not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against spiritual forces of evil in heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you will be able to stand your ground.”
Paul himself summarises this challenge that seems to be rocking your family and ministry in 2 Corinthians 6: 3-10: “We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that your ministry will not be discredited. Rather as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance, in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonour, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, yet possessing everything.”