In recent times, Chris Brown felt two co-hosts were discussing his personal life with his girlfriend in a way that was very disrespectful. What did he do? He took to twitter and rained insults on these women. Was he right in his approach? To me, no. However, note one thing. His woman Karruche Tran was not the one fighting the battles. She understands that she is the girlfriend of Chris Brown and it is not in her place to fight his fans, media, bloggers et al.
Now take that example and contrast with Peter Okoye’s wife Lola Omotayo. It seems Mrs. Okoye fails to understand she is the spouse of the artist/celebrity and not the celebrity herself.
Artists, by the way, you really need to have a talk with girlfriends, wives, boyfriends, husbands etc. on how their conduct on and offline can affect your brand image and bottom line. Nobody needs to be schooled. We are not kids here but they need to know to be conscientious about the brand that helps feed them as well as you.
Also, by now you should know that when you are working i.e. in the studio, shooting a music video etc., unless your spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend or relative manages you, they really have no business being at the work site. Be professional when you show up for work. Handle your entertainment business, professionally.
Let’s go back to Lola Omotayo and give context.
Peter Okoye is part of the band called P-Square, a band co-owned by Peter and his twin brother Paul. The band is managed by their older brother Jude. I think it is safe to say all three brothers love beautiful women because their wives are truly very gorgeous women. Having said that, the wives of Paul and Jude know to stay out of the limelight but not Peter’s i.e. Lola Omotayo.
In fairness to Lola, she simply has not enjoyed the respect and affection of the public at large. Why? The world can be quite judgmental. While Lola is a stunning beauty, she had her three kids out of wedlock, all Peter’s children, before he finally “put a ring on it.” In the midst of having all of these children out of wedlock, Lola did not shy away from gushing about how “amazing” her boyfriend at the time, Peter, was.
This non-stop praises of her man made many fans of Peter and the public at large make her the target of their abuses and truthfully, hate. They attacked and mocked her; said she lacked any morals and also, if she had it so good, how come she couldn’t get Peter Okoye, a Nigerian man for that matter, to wed her?
Everyone wanted to know what “respectful Nigerian woman would keep opening her legs” and having children, three for that matter, for a Nigerian man that simply refused to wed her. The things said were sometimes downright mean. The fans did not stop with Lola. They went after Peter. They thought he had pushed it to the limits with “milking the cow for too long for free” and felt that he too had to grow up. The two were the butt of jokes from social media to online and print news paper and magazines.
Lola, in the meantime, engaged in a losing battle with heated words on social media with these fans/followers of Peter. She also made statements that essentially said, “hey it’s my life. I don’t have to get married and I can have all the children I want out of wedlock. Plus, marriage doesn’t matter anyway.”
I felt her statements were way off as to “marriage” not being significant where you actually have children in a Nigerian society. You can say it’s my life all you want but Nigeria is not America and the laws on the book simply has no place, whatsoever, in terms of inheritance, for children born out of wedlock. I addressed the legal implications of inheritance laws in Nigeria when children are born out of wedlock, and why it mattered if Lola will have children to make sure they can inherit the millions of dollars their father has. You can read it here.
In any event weeks after these abuses and attacks, Peter proposed to Lola. It seemed all returned to normal until a new dispute arose amongst the brothers. Jude Okoye was absent at Peter’s wedding. The claim was that Peter’s family, especially his now deceased mother, never approved him marrying Lola. While Peter’s wedding was ongoing, Jude was absent and instead on social media tweeting. Needless to say this caused an uproar that was somehow still blamed on Lola.
Shortly after, yet a major rift and actual physical fight occurred between the two brothers, Peter and Paul. Once again, Lola was blamed. Through it all, Lola would get on social media when she couldn’t take it anymore, it appears, and say a thing or two that seemed like mature responses.
The background above shows Lola and the people on social media are simply not best of friends. The more she exposes herself on social media, the more she is attacked and it seems the dislike button really goes into the red.
Indeed, there is no dispute that social media has simply not been too welcoming of Lola. And while Lola should’t necessarily stay off the internet, I think there is something to be said for her to refrain from interfering in social media rants/battles by fellow celebrity women against members of the public.
In recent times, Caroline Danjuma shared a social media post warning women who wanted to destroy her relationship with her husband to stay away. Lola, I guess resonating with that pain, took to defending Caroline but in a way that got the public coming after Lola, again. Lola said she supported women but took to calling other women “hoes,” all in a so called support of a person she called “bitch” i.e. Caroline Danjuma. Calling a fellow woman “bitch” I suppose is yet another spectrum of the feminist/women empowerment movement? It’s of course all good so long as the men are not the ones calling us women “bitches?” *Rolls eyes.* I clearly missed the memo in my feminist legal theory courses and my own brand of feminism.
Needless to say, once again, Lola was attacked for her choice of words.
Lola then took an “I will deal with you personally” approach and declared her stance for women in a follow up instagram message, stating she stands for the “abused” etc. It was too late. Many attacked her even more and called her out on her contradictions.
Overall, in my view, Lola and social media just simply do not go well together and I believe as the P-Square band continues to have its own issues and tries to stay relevant, she needs to be tuned into this and stay out of the limelight. She can start up her own business, focus on her children or do something that does not require the kind of unproductive and negative brand image of her, and ultimately an extension of her husband Peter Okoye, the artist. It is possible for people to lose respect for a man or woman based on the choice of spouse and that spouse’s conduct, regardless of how good looking the spouse is.
Bottom line, Lola needs to realize the P-Square brand is not about her. It is, however, what puts food on the table for her and her family. She needs to lay off the constant appearance in the limelight where she is always fighting someone or having to defend herself. Surely it must be exhausting to be put in such situation, not so?
If she wants to become an activist, then she should get to work on and offline in a constructive and productive way. This constant “fight, fight” is not a good look for the overall brand image of her husband, Peter Okoye, P-Square and their pocket book.
Don’t let people stifle your voice but don’t get into fights that are uncalled for.
-Uduak
