[spp-tweet tweet=”I have battled with the idea of writing this article for over 3 years, but only got the needed incentive yesterday in the form of an extremely shallow, misinformed, inaccurate, deceptive and downright misleading documentary”] I watched on You Tube about how Nigeria was this drastically rising economic super power within the continent of Africa, and was going through this massive commercialization phase that every Nigerian in the diaspora needed to be a part of and how we all need to move back home to do great things with our foreign accents.
While this is largely true in this new era where online businesses are booming, our artists are making more money than ever before through worldwide recognition, performances and endorsements, comedians are charging N2million naira per table at sold out shows and bloggers are able to afford property in the most exclusive parts of the country, Nigeria has admittedly undergone a facelift in terms of realizing its greatest asset, its people, and investing in them enough to where it almost seems like we have finally gotten it right and are on the right track to self sustenance and reliability as a nation.
The reality however is a little different and if you ask me, worse off than it previously was as the advantages you thought you had as a REPATRIATE have diminished greatly and continue to fade by the second.
That is why mini-documentaries like the one I watched agitate me, why you ask? Simple, I watched a similar video four years ago, got flabbergasted by the unparalleled show of affluence (effizzy) and like a castrated buffoon I plunged myself into the most hellish years of my life.
The truth is, things are more difficult now than ever before for returnees, and there are quite a number of questions that need to be answered before you embark on your post youtube video exodus into new horizons. They address most of the reasons why almost every repatriate I know has moved back to their foreign country of origin.
REALITY CHECK
Most potential returnees who watch these videos have pretty much forgotten the reason why they left naija in the first place. They are now so immersed in the American way of life where you can pretty much be whatever you want (equal opportunity employment), go to the same school as societal elite (thanks to student loans), drive pretty much whatever car you desire (thanks to auto loans), and live in very nice houses (thanks to mortgages), so much so that they forget that we are from Nigeria, where man pass man.
So we watch these videos and delve down an all too familiar rhetoric; “I must enter naija meeeeeehn”…”naija is where its happening”…”f__k all this foreign country shit mehn im done”…”im going to naija to take over son”…”my boy lives in lekki and drives a range rover, what am I still doing here” amongst other popular pseudo-euphemisms. Well…SON…here are a few reality checks:
Where do you plan on staying when you land in naija “meeeeehn”????: Where did you live before you left naija? The diversity lottery opened doors for quite a number of migrants. Many of whom were not resident in Lagos before they left Nigerian shores. All the videos you see depicting naija upscale living are based in Lekki/VI/Ikoyi. You have probably visited naija a few times for a week or two, spent your hard earned savings (which seems like a lot cos you’re only in town for such a short period), stayed on the island by virtue of the people you know and its quite ok cos you are just on holiday and will be blowing back out as soon as the December flex fest is over. At this point you can tell people that your job in America involves technical maintenance of the moon and stars and they will believe you.
It is however a different scenario entirely when you are there to stay. Your grace period before the yankee / uk induced euphoria wears out is typically about one month by which time the naija sun will have destroyed all the freshness you acquired over the years, you are starting to become aggressive by virtue of everyone you deal with on a day-to-day basis, your accent and swag are fading, and your hosts are finally starting to realize “oh sh*t…we are housing someone who used to live in Ilorin eeeewwww!!!!” At this point your fall from grace will only be comparable to that of satan when he was cast out of heaven. Your American passport is not visa free to the island. And for those who were actually resident in Lagos before travelling, good luck living the Nigerian You Tube returnee dream in Amuwo Odofin or Mushin.
EMPLOYMENT
Back in the days, most of our parents returned to find jobs waiting for them as well as multiple programs in place to facilitate smooth transitioning for returnees. The same was applicable in the recent past when a lot of corporations were springing up left and right and most craved the added knowledge, expertise and general ambiance you got from a confident good looking young man/woman walking down your hallways looking sharp and talking with an American or british accent.
Well guess what my fellow repatriates, they are on to you!!!! You cannot bamboozle your way through interviews with your mastery of a foreign tongue anymore. The days of passing off a community college education as an undergrad degree are over. They have realized that they can pay less to locally trained individuals and get more value. Again, your accent cannot save you, everyone has one.
First of all everybody is a foreign graduate now, even the ones who schooled in Cotonou, you all fall under the same class according to NYSC. Secondly, I reiterate that everyone has an accent now, all you have to do is watch “Keeping up with the Kardashians”. So if you think you will charm anyone at your interview by sounding like you swallowed a rattle snake then you have another thing coming, And naija interviewers go out of this world!!!! After you are done with your written test, 5 people now sit you down and ask you GMAT questions that have nothing to do with the position applied for.
I myself was a victim of this. After 6 months of searching I finally secured an interview with one of the indigenous oil companies. I appeared there in my suit looking like a million dollars and by the time I left I was in tears feeling like N25 naira. This baboon that interviewed me did everything in his capacity to make all my answers sound retarded to a point where I felt like I never went to school. My painstakingly acquired American accent disappeared mid-interview out of frustration. Bear in mind I finished with a first class. I’m guessing Einstein would have been a more adequate candidate. Which brings me to my next question; DO YOU HAVE A GODFATHER? Believe me you need one of these if you are ever to make any head way in Nigeria. A friend confided in me that he was unable to answer any of the questions posed to him during his interview and still got the job and a promotion a week later. True story.
Fast forward to 2 years later (yes 2 years without income!!!) I finally secure a job with another indigenous oil company and set out to prove that I was the man for the job, impressing my bosses with my work ethic and even getting promoted within the first 4 months. It was smooth sailing until this senior consultant who was a friend to the Chairman was hired. For whatever reason he didn’t like me and I went from superstar manager to incompetent employee. I eventually found out he was sleeping with one of my employees who conveniently took over my position after I resigned. Which brings me to my next question; CAN YOU DEAL WITH THE POLITICS OF THE NIGERIAN WORKPLACE?
NYSC
Believe it or not 90% of the Nigerians I speak with abroad do not have any intention of doing the mandatory 1 year NYSC exercise, and this was when they still gave foreign graduates the option of picking either Lagos or Abuja as their choice locations. That is long over now. Long story short, I was posted to a remote village in ekiti where I:
· Had to use bushes as my toilet
· Was pursued by hunters while pooping
· Caught bronchitis
· Almost got bitten by a snake
· Ate unimaginable food
· Wasn’t allowed to redeploy
The rest is better left to the imagination.
SECURITY
You hear all these stories of armed robberies in Nigeria and I distinctively recall thinking to myself that literally everyone I knew in Nigeria had experienced some form of encounter with armed robbers. I kept wondering when it would be my turn. Sure enough one faithful October morning on my way to work at about 6:30am I was confronted by a robber who had a sawed off double barreled shotgun pointed at my head in early morning traffic. A month later I was chased by armed robbers on okada motorcycles from Lekki phase one to my office in Parkview ikoyi. Few months later my driver was stabbed multiple times when my car broke down along airport road due to lack of fuel. At least four close friends who moved down after me have also been attacked. This is the reality here in Nigeria, there is absolutely NO security, so going around with that “I can move around as I please” mentality you flew in with might get you in trouble if you aren’t careful.
HEALTHCARE
Let’s just say pray that you do not need critical medical attention. Cos in a country where every affliction is treated as malaria, na OYO you dey. And God forbid you get into an accident. Emergency healthcare is not in our character, people would rather snap pics and send to Linda Ikeji as if in addition to being a super blogger, she also possesses the super power to heal the injured.
POWER
Non-existent. Was a lot better when the new government came in, but now we are back to the norm. No good roads either so whatever car you ship down will be beat up in a matter of months, that is a promise. Up naija.
BUSINESS
The best strategy is to always have a secondary source of income. So just in case you are unable to secure gainful employment as quickly as anticipated, it is well advised to have your hustle hat close by and you will be well advised to find a local hustle. We are not an export driven economy, but an import driven one. So if your business is purchase based, how do you survive when your N280,000 naira only gets you $1000 dollars?
CONCLUSION
I could go on about the realities that are to be expected when moving back to our GREAT country, ultimately home is still home. You will better understand what we are dealing with when you sit and think about the trillions of dollars that have flowed through our economy since the oil boom of the 1970’s and our country still looks the way it does while a country like Dubai has managed to replicate heaven in the same timeframe.
We must move back with the intention to effect real change and not continue to live out the delusions of grandeur. We are fighting an uphill battle and it is very important for us not to get carried away by a few nightlife and party scenes and the general mediocrities that are being passed off as development while we continually provide ample comedic relief for other African countries and are being laughed at as the greatest joke on the continent.
This article does not serve to dissuade, but better educate readers by giving a more realistic view of what is obtainable when embarking on a move back to Nigeria and assist in adequate preparedness and decision-making.
So unless you can sing like Wizzy or crack jokes like Basketmouth, you are well advised to curb your enthusiasm and take everything with a grain of salt. Remember we Nigerians are masters of illusion and know how to put up the appearance of affluence like no other. Be strategic in your planning and cover all bases as best as you can. Most of the people who encouraged you to move down WILL NOT assist you when you do. Remember why you ran away from here in the first place.
Written by Dr. Oluyemi Olawaiye
Some of Our Achievements
This had me howling in my tea. Well done! You do not lie, my brother. The “documentary” that you speak of was an apology, and the people featured were quite obviously living a very ROUGH existence themselves, forming effizy (on someone else’s boat). Potential repats, don’t allow yourselves to be lied to!
You said the truth, after four wasted years in Nigeria, I wish i had read your article before even leaving US in the first place!
So true. Thanks for the advice good read.
Great piece!!!!!!
The bitter truth about Nigeria. In spite of these, some people have been able to break the jinx. I have always hammered on one thing. ” A better Nigeria begins with you”
Good advice
Dr, am loving your article. Reality Tv; welcome to Lagos. I particularly like how you gave each subject matter a sub heading and proceeded to surgically dissect and remove the illusions of grandeur.
Sad reality that comes through in this article underlines the reason those in diaspora right now will remain as far away as possible from our beloved country. Nigeria is becoming more and more a holiday destination for most of us with the occasional 2 weeks stay in Lekki every other year. I know a number of folks who are well settled into the life in Nigeria and are doing very well. What I never forget though is that most of them never left the country when I did, so they are well suited to survive and have over the years mastered the art of thriving in what you and I describe as chaos. I never forget that and that is why no YouTube video move me! I have come to accept that I am a “legal” alien in the land I live in….God bless Nigeria
Those waiting for the right time will watch life pass them by. The reason you left will not change for the foreseeable future. It’s not going to be about what your country can do for you anytime soon, but what you can do for your country. The expectations of most (potential) returnees require big doses of realism. That is, unless you’re returning to be an armed robber.
You’ve just said it all.This is all the truth there is to know about Nija.Those of Us here are hoping and praying to get out.Other nations improve but We get worse by the day.The situation here is crazy!
Harsh realities…
You have just relayed the same sentiments as the article. I wonder why you are disappointed with it….
Very interesting piece… Hilarious. Nice
Dr. Oluyemi Olawaiye, thanks for your contributions to this important issue. I particularly liked your advice for returnees to curb their enthusiasm.
You concluded by saying “…this article is not meant to dissuade, but better educate readers by giving a more realistic view of what is obtainable…” Unfortunately, most readers (as testified by the comments here) would see it as a ‘Don’t go there’ advice. I am of the view that the biggest issue here is our warped mindset about Nigeria. The truth is that we have the most grandiose expectations compared to nationals from other places (I was involved in a UK research involving returning Indians, Chinese, Mexicans, Brazillians and other Africans). The problem with us can be summed up simply:- We simply have unrealistic expectations!
For one, Nigerians have unreaslistic view of what they can achieve within months of arrival. For example, I returned late 2014, by mid 2015, friends and acquintances from around the world had started phoning to ask how many millions I have made. Come to think of it, how many of us achieved instant success in our various countries of residence?
Secondly, returning Nigerians seem to have the view that they have all the answers and as such they should be worshipped. Many of us have developed this hauntiness believing our residence abroad has inbued us with the midas touch. We tend to look down on other Nigerians. The reality is that there are a crop of Nigerians who never left these shores but are brilliant and can hold their own, even better than majority of returnees.
Thirdly, warped sense of entitlement. I have noticed that most returnees believe their foreign sojourn is sufficient for them to be awarded the most lucrative contract or the best job on offer. Not so.
The author complained of being posted to “…a remote village in Ekiti…blah blah blah. Pray, is he not a Nigerian? Do villages exist in his foreign Eldorado? Or is he suggesting that because he lived abroad he should have served in Aso Rock? It is unfortunate that we do not bring the ideals that exists in Diaspora of which we are so proud to Nigeria. For example, returning American Service Corps do not ask for preferential treatment when they get back to home soil even when they went abroad on national service.
And if I may ask, what promises did the foreign countries that we went to live in give us before we left Nigeria in the first place? Many of us ‘ran away’ because there was problem in Nigeria and we expected some slaves to have built Nigeria in our absence. While I agree that things are tough in Nigeria, if we can curb our expectations as the article suggest, the challenges would be bearable.
May I suggest that as returnees develop concrete work/business plans before returning. If you are planning to go into business, plan like you would in your country of residence. If you are planning to look for work, have the necessary accreditation and qualifications. And of course have a stringent financial plan for day to day living for several months. And of course don’t start spending as if you’re on holiday when you arrive.
Wishing returnees planning and goodluck as they come!
This article is good for the reality shock factor but in my opinion, it paints an exaggerated negative picture of the situation, at least for those who plan before they return and have the correct facts. Quite right, Nigeria is not the place for people who expect handouts, to live on credit or are simply not very hardworking. However, it is simply untrue to say you cannot succeed without a Godfather. I run a recruitment firm and we place hundreds of unknown people with merit and competence. Nigeria abounds with opportunities for those who are prepared to pay the price!
Hi Abisola,
Besides the article, your response is the most vital for me on this page today. How do I connect with you for placement? I figure I’d have no business repatriating myself to Naija without knowing I’d be coming to a job and contribute my training to societal growth. Please let me know how to connect and I will.
I think the number one mistake for any returnee is moving back completely before getting a job in Naija. Why would you do that? Nonetheless, the article is well written and correct for the most part.
Exceptionally brilliant and forthright.
I’m rolling around in side-whipping laughter. All you said is truth but you left some things out.
Nothing beats home, and being surrounded by love and true friendship. Nigerians are hustlers, if you can hustle, you can make it big time.
Nigeria is f*cked up, I mean from the back without any lubrication which makes this place the land of opportunities. So many things begging to be done and exploited.
Nigeria, is like America of old. The last frontier
Haha! This lad can’t be serious. Yes Nigeria’s got its challenges no doubt but where one man sees challenges another is blinded by opportunities! Yes there are lots if you can work both hard & smart but nooo…let’s take off to another man’s land which you have contributed NOTHING to develop! Basically leaching off a people that loathe your presence and you shove your pride so deep that you come home fronting with some phony accent and expect heads to turn. Lol. I studied in UK myself, finished with a 1st class, spent another 2 years there but had to return not just because their immigration policies are unfriendly to our people (a number of known ways around that) but I just wasn’t feeling it. I felt the level of greatness I desired awaited me at home. First 2 months back I secured a management level job with a multinational (All thanks to God…no godfather!) earning a healthy 6 figure monthly salary (due for another raise actually) travelled the world (only Antarctica and South America left to go) and happily married to an independent Queen with 2 amazing kids. Oh I also run a successful business on the side. The perfect life for me is to be able to travel anywhere I desire with my family but never staying too long because I need NAIJA and NAIJA needs me. I have built my paradise where you call hell! Talk about freshness….Haha! Wish I could introduce you to folk here….take you out on an average day and enjoy your embarrassment seeing people that glow where you couldn’t. Shallow.
My sentiments exactly. Where some fail, others succeed and leave some for the rest.
To the author, you have painted your realities as accurately as you know it with a washed out and ironic disclaimer of not discouraging peeps…..but we can read.
To those who would consider coming to naija for the long haul, best advice is to get your mind right. Nothing will be handed down to you because of your foreign degree and accent that’ll wash away in a split second but know that there are opportunities everywhere..it works for some but not for all. There’s so much to be explored here .
I totally with Dr. Oluyemi Olawaiye. I had similar experiences as him when I was moved back to Nigeria in 2006 from the UK.
To our brothers and sisters in foreign lands, Please don’t move back to Nigeria if you can not lick people’s ass. Since I dislike Nigerian office politics when I worked there some years ago and i couldn’t see reason for licking people’s ass since I believe only in merit. I was frustrated on my job and I resigned, and swore never ever to work for any firm in Nigeria again.
There are too many unethical practises in the Nigerian work place; if you have lived abroad for long, you may never fit in into the hostile environment there.
I have returned back to UK and my entrepreneurial career is doing well.
Nigerian business environment is extremely hostile and you need to have a mega thick skin to survive in the Nigerian terrain.
I wish you all success. Good bye.
Saw the documentary and all can say is: Bullocks!!!! – I am still not convinced.
In 2011 when I visited Naija, the bumps on the roads gave me a bloody body ache- I was on paracetamol like a crack head after every road trip!!
I never got a full night’s sleep because once the generator got switched off @ 10pm, I’d wake up because of the heat- and as you can’t leave windows open because of mosquitoes, I stayed awake till the next morning!
When they had electricity from the power company, it was at lower than half current and they called it full current!
As per the food- couldn’t eat jack because I could taste the chemical treatment used for treating the water that they used for cooking food. The taste of the chemical treatment overwhelmed the taste of the food!!
As per the internet, it was slower than when we used to have dial up over here in England!
Furthermore, a government official looked me in the eye and said as he perused my children’s passports- he asked me blatanty why one child had an Igbo name and the other a Yoruba name- in his infinite wisdom, he told me that I’d “blocked” the chances of my Igbo named child “making it” in Nigeria.
I gave as good as I could and told him “that is your loss”.
I am intrigued though as to whether these guys would educate their kids in Naija or send them abroad for an education?
This is my view on the subject matter…it took me years to adjust and become what I am on this country. I don’t understand why people think that you can move back without an adjustment period. When we left Naija we were willing to go through all kind of changes and going back wasn’t an option. If you apply sane principles now, you will make it back home . Guranteed
true dat.
We adjusted in USA ….so, tehre has to be readjusting to naija AGAIN!
We dey! YES we CAN!
Interesting article. Slightly exaggerated in a few areas. But it pretty much sums up the realities of moving back.
Plan ahead (work or business), have a good support system here (family and friends), start establishing a good network of potential clients, partners over here before you move and continue to build it after you get back, have some cash stashed for the early tough days, lower your expectations and be prepared for some frustration.
Finally, I believe returnees with a problem solving mindset always have a good chance to blow in Nigeria cos they are more aware of the gaps and the way things work over there and if they’re willing to work with people with a knowledge of the Nigerian environment to solve a problem , Nigerians pay for solutions and with the right structure you’ll make your money for providing these solutions. (eventually).
Nigeria is definitely not as good as the YouTube video (can I get a link please?) makes it to be. It’s bad, but not as bad as a lot think and it wouldn’t get better if the brain drain continues. Come back home. No one would fix it if you all stay back there. Come and fix it and dominate the area you helped to fix.
Shikena.
Different strokes for different folks! Find your space and make it what you want it to be
Afam! You’re a boss.. I came back early last year and in all honesty I wish I had returned much earlier. The difference is this- my mind was set. I was done with the stringent, unfriendly and absolute racist immigration policies. Thankfully, I got my dream job in less than 2months. Yes, I’d go through the hassle of settling down. I lost my ‘Britishness’ within four months, oh yes! This is Naija! Be calm and suffer lol. I do have friends who weren’t that lucky and I still know a lot whose story are ridiculously amazing. I work in a multinational and a good number of contract staff went to the best schools in England (et al) with first class honors and double degrees to boot,they have no guarantee of a permanent position . Still they persist.
So here’s the deal, Naija will test you but you gotta fight.
“Nigeria will test you, but you gotta fight!”
you said it all.
Please, I need folks like you in our new Returnees Club!
https://web.facebook.com/thereturnees/?fref=ts
What do we do now?
I have been in Naija all my life and I don’t seem to fit into the discussion. However, I believe a pricinple in life; in whatever you do, count the cost and be wise to choose that which pays. Cheers! Up Naija!
Nigeria is a Corrupt Country !! Corruption will never produce any good dividend. That Country will remain a hell hole until corruption is brought down to a manageable level.
All those who looted our money MUST be punished and all the monies taken back from them. The current war on corruption by the Buhari Administration is worthy of our support. It is a courageous step in the right direction . We should encourage him in whatever way we can. He is the ONLY LEADER WILLING to confront this Monster killing Nigerians.
My second suggestion is we should be thinking of how we can be part of the solution, now that we are aware of the problems. We must not lose thought of the millions our people suffering in Nigeria with no one to help them. At least, we have a choice whether to go back home or remain abroad.
The problem is that it’s not just the government that is corrupt.
The average Nigerian deals with corruption everyday from lecturers, to policeman, market sellers, etc.
Well written piece Oluyemi. Some Nigerians will relate to this. But like many (some making up their mind after just reading your article now), you probably made mistakes in your plans hence it hit you too hard.
1. You do not return to Nigeria to look for a job. You find the job before you return. No matter how much cash you return with, the thought alone of not having an income after a month can drive you nuts. So this was your first mistake. Most people who are still enjoying Nigeria after they returned first got many offers, then calculated their monthly income and expenditure to the last kobo to see if the offer is worth it before they even decide to return.
2. One mistake people make is setting themselves too high expectations based on other people’s hear-say-non-researched feedback rather than do the findings themselves. As you rightly pointed out, people leave from the village as a street hawker. They get to USA and hussled in the hard streets of New York where you could not end a month without the help of Credit Card or Overdraft. They come back to Nigeria where everything requires cash and expect to live in Lekki/VI/Ikoyi with Escort and Sarens? Most people who have returned and still doing well looked for a quiet flat on the mainland and took life easy until they settled down better. Just like they did when they got to USA.
3. Apart from not getting a job before you returned, you probably set your eyes on that same one industry that is falling called Oil. You probably didn’t bother to look elsewhere. If you did, you probably would not have blown all your hard earned cash from abroad and hence the frustration set in.
4. Just like 3 above, you probably did not have a plan b and plan c. A lot come, try and go back within that your first six months or try something else other than looking for the same paid 9 to 5 job. You didn’t say why you couldn’t go back and wasted 2 years still looking for an Oil job in Nigeria. But the smart ones had a plan b, c, d etc. They gave themselves time limits with targets for each month so that they can switch to them if one fails. I can see that after 2 years, just like an unemployed undergraduate in Nigeria does, you were still going for the same Oil job interviews.
5. A lot of people go abroad as nothing with no job experience. They then manage to finish 7 to be 10 years of education (BSc, MSc, PHD) and expect to return to Nigeria as a well sort after consultant. No. Without any job experience?You will be disappointed. No body will listen to your accent. Nigeria will disappoint you unless your father if the company owner to place push you in. People forget that the fact that they got a PHD after 10 years working as a store attendant in Walmart does not make them a qualified candidate for even Operation Head of Shoprite in Lekki. This is one mistake most returnees make. You have a PHD, so what. Where’s the experience required for the job you are applying for? Most people who has survived the return came back with an experience. Prospective employees actually looked for them rather than they spend 2 years looking for employers in Lagos. Don’t return to Nigeria without experience and expect to be hired as a Senior Manager.
6. For Security, Health care, Roads, Electricity, water etc. Again it all depends on why and the motivation behind your return to Nigeria. Your level of expectations on these facilities is what could drive you insane with a week of arrival. In short, if you returned based on hear-say, your nightmare and frustration and depression kicks in as soon as you landed at the airport. So forget it.
7. Survivors didn’t just carry their luggage one morning and board a flight to Lagos or Abuja. They planned for years with family for ideas. They were regular travellers to Nigeria. They spent each visit researching the country and getting their house ready to enter. They made friends, rented or bought a house ahead. They didn’t just land and started thinking of what’s next for the day. They painstakingly planned their years ahead. In your case, like many did (and failed), they watched Youtube videos and read blogs by people that live in Ikoyi. Then they packed their bags as if it were those days you just board Peugeot 504 wagon in Lagos and land in Accra and got a job next day.
8. Most returnees went as far weighing the “net” (not gross) salary they have been offered against the “net” (not gross) salary they currently earn. They even doubled the exchange rate as at that day to see if they can still make it in Nigeria in case the Naira fell.
9. The worst that hist returnees is thinking they can live in Lagos and still fund their Mortgage in New York. 100% wrong. You’re attempting suicide. You either return or not return. If you cannot pay your Mortgage using the rents, forget it.
10. As a returnee. I had no God father. I have not regretted for a day. Good luck
Man, you hit the nail on the head. Great write up. I keep telling myself friends this. Remember why you left in the first place, why is the American embassy always full.