A year after celebrity media personality Toke Makinwa married fitness entrepreneur Maje Ayida, she “breaks the internet” this weekend when news of her husband allegedly impregnating his girlfriend (of eight years) surfaced via an exclusive feature from blogger Stella Dimoko Korkus.
Toke Makinwa’s darling husband Maje Ayida has impregnated his ex-girlfriend Anita Solomon and Anita is currently in the UK to birth their child.
According to insiders Anita who is Half Lebanese,half Calabar,lawyer and runs a beauty salon in Calabar has been in a relationship with Maje for the past 8years but broke off with her briefly to get married to Toke.
The insiders say that Maje who is the sole sponsor of her multi million salon in Calabar has been making trips to the state to visit her.
I made calls to confirm the status of this story and my informant says
”Stella it’s so true!!!!!!!! 100% confirmed. Anita is in UK to have Maje’s baby. I visited her Aunty and they confirmed she’s pregnant for a married man from Delta,one Maje.They are so disappointed in her because he left her and got married to Toke and came back to side chick her.Family say they dated for about 8years….”
I hear that Maje has allegedly confessed to Toke and begged for forgiveness but i do not know what goes on after that….
I am so broken by this news and i dont know what else to add….
So so so so disappointed and angry, so shocked ……feel so bad for Toke.” ~Stella Dimoko Korkus Blog
1. Further reports from other sources say Maje Ayida was dating this woman for eight years, about the exact length he was dating Toke before marrying Toke. This story reminds me of a story that broke in May about fashion personality Elohor Aisien. Her husband allegedly had three women pregnant at the same time, including her, causing an alleged separation/split between the two.
2. It is so ironic if this news is in fact true. For those who do not know, Toke is not only a media personality, she is a popular ‘vlogger’ (video blogger) whose expertise/niche is relationships. I have provided some sample videos below.
3. I wish Toke and her husband best of luck in sorting their marital issues out.
4. The Nigerian public at large is blaming Toke for her husband cheating on her. I think that is preposterous. Let’s be clear, a woman is not the cause of a man cheating on her. The man has his own autonomy to make his own decisions.
5. I already said divorce rates in Nigeria are increasing, please expect more. Nigerian women of today are simply not Nigerian women of their mothers’ era. Many have western influences, many are independent and many know they don’t have to put up all in the name of being married. It’s a new paradigm shift and one that Nigerian men will and must learn to operate in.
6. There are three options in situations like these: a) stay and work it out; b) stay and put up with it for fear, shame, stigma or to prove to the “haters” that your marriage will work by fire or by storm; and c) get a divorce. Pack your bags and run while you still can before the emotional trauma ruins and possibly kills you.
The first two options require counselors and psychologists. The third option require lawyers. I find more and more Nigerian women in Nigeria are choosing divorce. Again, I believe the trend will only increase.
If you find yourself in the alleged situation Toke Makinwa allegedly currently finds herself and you decide to choose option 3, here is how to get a divorce in Nigeria:
If you want a divorce, you must file your petition with the court seeking divorce. The divorce must be based on the ground that the marriage has been broken down irretrievably. What does irretrievably mean? The court will consider eight different grounds under the act highlighted below.
1. No sex i.e. no consumation of the marriage.
3. Conduct that is unreasonable (rape, bestiality, habitual drunkard, sodomy, murderer, incarcerated (in prison), attempted murder of spouse, intent to or actual commission of serious bodily injury, inability to take care of spouse).
4. Abandonment ( must be at least one year prior to the filing of the divorce petition).
5. Separation (living apart for a continued period of two years prior to the filing of the divorce petition) and no objection by the person you want to divorce from. So, you file for a divorce, the court says how long have you been apart, you say two years. The court ask your spouse whether he/she will object to the divorce and he/she says , “no.”
6. Separation (living apart for a continued period of three years prior to the filing of the divorce petition).
7. Failure to comply with a court order regarding marriage or the sexual rights or privilege of a marriage.
8. Death/Reason to Believe Spouse is Dead.
What Law Governs?
Matrimonial Causes Act
Chapter 220, section 15 & 16
Laws of the Federation of Nigeria 1990
Dissolution of marriage
15. (1) A petition under this Act by a party to a marriage for a decree of dissolution of the marriage may be presented to the court by either party to the marriage upon the ground that the marriage has broken down irretrievably.
(2) The court hearing a petition for a decree of dissolution of a marriage shall hold the marriage to have broken down irretrievably if, but only if, the petitioner satisfies the court of one or more of the following facts- (Folks note you must satisfy one or more of the factors below):
(a) that the respondent has wilfully and persistently refused to consummate the marriage; (this means he or she is not giving you sex).
(b) that since the marriage the Respondent has committed adultery and the petitioner finds it intolerable to live with the respondent;
(c) that since the marriage the respondent has behaved in such a way that the petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the respondent;
(d) that the respondent has deserted the petitioner for a continuous period of at least one year immediately preceding the presentation of the petition; (Abandonment – many Nigerian relationships qualify for this, especially the foreign ones where the couple marry and he or she heads to Nigeria and remain there with no communication, companionship etc. whatsoever)
(e) that the parties to the marriage have lived apart for a continuous period of at least two years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition and the respondent does not object to a decree being granted;
(f) that the parties to the marriage have lived apart for a continuous period of at least three years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition;
(g) that the other party to the marriage has, for a period of not less than one year failed to comply with a decree or restitution of conjugal rights made under this Act;
(h) that the other party to the marriage has been absent from the petitioner for such time and in such circumstances as to provide reasonable grounds for presuming that he or she is dead.
(3) For the purpose of subsection (2) (e) and (f) of this section the parties to a marriage shall be treated as living apart unless they are living with each other in the same household.
SECTION 16 Shows how you Meet the Burdens in Section 15
16. (1) Without prejudice to the generality of section 15(2)(c) of this Act, the court hearing a petition for a decree to of dissolution of marriage shall hold that the petitioner has satisfied the court of the fact mentioned in the said section 15(2)(c) of this Act if the petitioner satisfies the court that-
(a) since the marriage, the respondent has committed rape, sodomy, or bestiality; or
(b) since the marriage, the respondent has, for a period of not less than two years-
(i) been a habitual drunkard, or
(ii) habitually been intoxicated by reason of taking or using to excess any sedative, narcotic or stimulating drug or preparation, or has, for a part or parts of such a period, been a habitual drunkard and has, for the other part or parts of the period, habitually been so intoxicated; or
(c) since the marriage, the respondent has within a period not exceeding five years-
(i) suffered frequent convictions for crime in respect of which the respondent has been sentenced in the aggregate to imprisonment for not less than three years, and
(ii) habitually left the petitioner without reason- able means of support; or
(d) since the marriage, the respondent has been in prison for a period of not less than three years after conviction for an offence punishable by death or imprisonment for life or for a period of five years or more, and is still in prison at the date of the petition; or
(e) since the marriage and within a period of one year immediately preceding the date of the petition, the respondent has been convicted of-
(i) having attempted to murder or unlawfully to kill the petitioner, or
(ii) having committed an offence involving the intentional infliction of grievous harm or grievous hurt on the petitioner or the intent to inflict grievous harm or grievous hurt on the petitioner;
(f) or the respondent has habitually and wilfully failed, throughout the period of two years immediately preceding the date of the petition, to pay maintenance for the petitioner-
(i) ordered to be paid under an order of, or an order registered in, a court in the Federation, or
(ii) agreed to be paid under an agreement between the parties to the marriage providing for their separation; or
(g) the respondent-
(i) is, at the date of the petition, of unsound mind and unlikely to recover, and
(ii) since the marriage and within the period of six ears immediately preceding the date of the petition, as been confined for a period of, or for periods aggregating, not less than five years in an institution where persons may be confined for unsoundness of mind in accordance with law, or in more than one such institution.
(2) Where a petition is based on the fact mentioned in section 15(2)(h) of this Act-
(a) proof that, for a period of seven years immediately preceding the date of the petition, the other party to the marriage was continually absent from the petitioner and that the petitioner has no reason to believe that the other party was alive at any time within that period is sufficient to establish the fact in question, unless it is shown that the other party to the marriage was alive at a time within that period; and
(b) a decree made pursuant to the petition shall be in the form of a decree of dissolution of marriage by reason of presumption of death.”
Consult with your local Nigerian Family Law attorney to help you with the divorce process.
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