A rather interesting question posed to mothers about how they train their Nigerian boys who end up becoming abusers. As the guests say, mothers are not the sole focus. While they have a huge role to play in raising boys who will not become abusers, we should not and cannot exonerate the fathers. They are a big part of changing Nigeria’s domestic violence narrative. The guests discuss re-training the minds of mothers raising boys. For example, your girls should not be in the kitchen washing dishes while your son is watching television, among other re-orientation of our boys. The division of labor should be balanced in the home. A boy beating his sister should not be excused or tolerated.
Highlights:
1. In 2012, 1 out of 5 Nigerian women say they have experienced violence (sexual, physical assault).
2. The Nigerian woman faces violence at home, work, misinterpretation of religious books are used as the basis to abuse and justify abusing her.
3. There is a culture of silence and cultural norms that permit this ongoing violence.
4. Stop the myth that poor and illiterate women are the only ones abused. It is simply not the case.
5. What is it in a man’s constitution that leads to him punching and abusing women? The answer is low self esteem, among other issues. Also, power is at issue.
6. The laws are on the books. Enforcement is the issue.
7. Our cultural baggage encourages the beatings of women.
8. We need to be committed to enforcement of the laws on the books. (Everytime I hear these things about the law, I wonder about the legal community in Nigeria. It seems rather elitist or is it just me? There is no true integration on a grass root level in the local community. Why is the average Nigerian so far removed from the Nigerian lawyer and the legal justice system? We’ve gotta get out into the local communities. Get into the classrooms, the villages, the local communities. Law is not only for the rich and is not only commercial law.)
-Uduak
Photocredit: Kayn Photography